Today, August 17, 2005, my dad would’ve turned 70 years old. Years ago, growing up in Skiatook, OK there was an old Indian man named "ChaHee." I guess every small town has "the town drunk." That guy who spends his days wandering up and down Main St. collecting what he can from the trash and from people who don’t know him and are happy to give him $1 just to go away. Of course after a few years, I was mortified to find out that the guy wasn’t Indian, he wasn’t a drunk, and his name wasn’t ChaHee. He was mentally disabled and his name was Charlie. The nickname was a cheap imitation of the way he pronounced his own name. I was ashamed to think I’d been so naive.
Charlie always greeted my dad with a shout, "Hey Don!" No matter where we were; inside or out, in church or on the street, it was "Hey Don" always just a bit too loud, and accompanied by a hard slap on the back.
My dad was always friendly and generous and willing to engage Charlie in a little conversation. An example that I still have a hard time living up to today. Dad’s willingness to spend some time with someone the rest of us tended to shun or just make fun of was just a peek inside an amazing man. My dad was a complex guy; open and engaging but with his own private closet full of demons, kind and warm but with a gruff exterior, full of faith but needing the assurance of something he could see or hold in his hand. Not that much unlike all of us…trying to be authentic and real while at the same time busy nurturing that false front we like to present to others.
Dad and Charlie are both gone now. Busy walking the streets of gold and enjoying eternity in the presence of God.
Thanks Dad for teaching me the lessons of life, for showing me how to be a man of honor, and for fighting the good fight for your family. You are missed! Dad is pictured above several years ago with my son Sullivan who is now 11 years old.
A couple of years ago, I wrote an essay on my dad’s death and my own journey working through the loss. You can download the essay here Download death_in_here.pdf
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Uncategorized Hey Don!
Your kids will be saying the same things about you. As you may never be able to live up to your Dad you have strenghts that I’m sure he did not have. It is hard to see our own strenghts but you have many. It is always a blessing to know we have our Dad’s whom we look up to. Funny thing is we often wait until they are gone to see all the knowledge they had for us.
Mike,
It is good to reflect on our Dad’s. To know they were human, but still be our role models and ..sometimes still be our heroes.
I just found your wonderful website . . . what wonderful stories, dear cousin. The story about your Dad (who my Dad, Harlin, knew) was mindboggling as I believe we are heading there with my Dad within a few short years. He’ll be 80 this Christmas. Your writings are wonderful.